Things have been very busy around Our house lately. Sadly, that "busy" wasn't kink related at all... We had new doors installed, window tint installed, bought 2 project cars and have begun work on them, continued work on another vintage car Master has that's not running currently (a new issue... was running one day and then just...stopped... :( ), had family in town for thanksgiving for a week, enjoyed a hike at a park near Our house with them , and lots of working at Our jobs.
Also, i have all 3 Christmas trees up and all my.Christmas shopping complete.
Kink is, i guess, on a back burner for right now... but We still live in Our roles as Master and slave every day. We just haven't had any yummy kinky sex... i am really missing it... Master has been stressed with work and when that level gets high Our kink level goes down.
This weekend, He did say He's feeling better and less stressed, this morning He even pulled my hair and choked me during Our.goodbye kiss so i am.hopeful it will return soon !!
We have a holiday party to go to soon and i got to shop for a new dress for that which was fun. Master likes things low cut, short and tight and He seems happy with the dress i found :).
i think that's about all i have to update on for now, hopefully i'll have more.... interesting things.... to share with you all soon.
Merry Christmas !!
~His kitten
Monday, December 5, 2016
Monday, October 10, 2016
It's Friday
We were in the living room, watching tv. Master was feeling a bit loose thanks to a rum and coke and He began kissing me. At first it was cute little pecks, then it got deeper and more passionate. He had me by the throat (love this !!!)
Deep in the throws of a kiss, Master grabs my hair, pulls me to my feet and,as He breaks the kiss, leads me into Our bedroom.
i am thrown on the bed, with Him on top of me, and the kissing continues, this time down my neck before He turns me on my stomach and begins biting my neck and back. Master is groaning and growling, He sounds so sexy !!
Back on my back, Master's hand is again around my throat and He is deeply kissing me and then He slaps my face twice, He loves this and i see His grin when i take them both and don't flinch.
Soon, He breaks away, tells me to prepare to be used since i prepared for Him earlier and He disappears into the closet.
i do as i'm told and wait, on the bed, on my hands and knees, face down, back arched, ready for anal play.
Master comes back with a few toys. He has the spatula (We just bought new one since We broke the other last week ), the flogger (the one He gave me for Our anniversary in June ) and... the red beacon (my name for my plug ). He begins to warm me up with the spatula. He's rotating sides, keeping it fairly even with 2 lighter smacks and then 1 big one on each cheek. Then, He begins to get sporadic, not so much a warm up now, He's really getting into it, not staying only on my cheeks but using my hips and upper thighs as well.
Once Master has enjoyed the spatula for a while, He switches to the flogger. This entire time, He is mostly quiet save for a few moans or a quick, "good girl "after a particularly hard hit.
The flogger He uses for a while, moving around the bed, using all the angles He can and testing me to see how hard He can go. The flogger is still pretty new to Us so there is a lot of testing and learning yet to do. He uses it mostly on my back and i get very close to tears, He loves tears, but none actually fall this time.
Once i am stinging all over, He gets the plug and lube and gets me ready for Him. i relax and prepare to cum when He allows,and He allows often with anal.
Finally ,the warm up and play are over and Master enters me, He fills my ass and enjoys it for quite a while before commanding me to cum one last time, with Him, and then We collapse on the bed together.
Master wraps me in my recovery blanket, gives me my stuffed giraffe and cuddles for a minute before leaving me to my thoughts.
Before He goes, i whisper, "what brought that on Master ?"
" It's Friday " was His reply.
:)
~His kitten
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Welcome home, kitten
"When you arrive, handle the dog, come to the front door, strip and kneel."
"Yes, Master."
i was so nervous, so excited, so ready to see Him!!!! But... strip... at the front door... where people could potentially see me??!!! This was definitely a test of obedience for me.
i arrived at his home after 2 days of driving, just me, my dog and a few personal things that fit in the car. i was shaking as i approached the front door, pleased to realize that it couldn't be seen from the street or by the neighbor's. i could barely make my fingers work to take off my shirt and jeans, it took forever for me to get the button undone on my jeans! Finally free from my clothes, i knocked on the door and got on my knees, fixing my eyes on a spot on the ground knowing i wasn't allowed to look up at Master until He said so.
"Hello kitten, I see you've made it safely, that's good."
"Yes, Master, the drive was uneventful."
"Get low."
Without speaking, i moved from my knees onto my belly on the ground, everything as low as i could get it.
"good girl, get your hands lower, good.Say your mantra."
"i am a slave, my Gerent has chosen me to serve Him. i need Him and am grateful that He trains me to be of value to Him. i will keep my walls down to preserve the work He has put into me. i will work my best at all times to serve Him, for it is how i can keep close. Only Master matters."
"Now, you know living here will be different, there are some new rules to follow. When you are in My home, you are to be naked, unless there are people here who aren't in the know. "
"Yes. Master"
"When you've been our of the house without Me, you are to drop everything upon entering the house, put your forehead to the tile and recite your mantra to be sure you are in the correct mindset inside My home. The only exception is when there are others with you, but that should be rare."
"Yes, Master."
"When I arrive home each day, you are to greet me, kneeling at the back door."
"Yes, Master."
"I'm glad you're here, welcome home kitten."
"Thank You Master, i am glad to be here."
"Let's go inside."
As i followed Master into His home, i was still nervous, i missed Him so much but this is a big change for Us. We have been apart for months but prior to that, We were only ever together for a week at most. Generally, We spent 2.25 days together each week, now We will live together, this will definitely be an adjustment for both of Us.
The first few weeks have been very good. We are working on finding daily routines, i make sure i lock the door after Master leaves each day and unlock it prior to His arrival home, i make sure i have dinner ready when He arrives home and that i am finished with my chores for the day so i can focus solely on serving Him.
i will be working soon but only part time so Our routines will change a little but not entirely.
i haven't been this happy.... ever. i love waking up to help Master get ready for His workday and then spending my day unpacking the house, organizing and preparing for His return home. Serving Him makes my life full and happy and i am so grateful that He allows me to live here and serve Him daily.
i am certainly adjusting to being naked all the time. i am not one who has always walked around naked after a shower or anything... i have no been comfortable in my own skin so this is a big adjustment for me.
Time to get back to my chores for the day :).
~His kitten
"Yes, Master."
i was so nervous, so excited, so ready to see Him!!!! But... strip... at the front door... where people could potentially see me??!!! This was definitely a test of obedience for me.
i arrived at his home after 2 days of driving, just me, my dog and a few personal things that fit in the car. i was shaking as i approached the front door, pleased to realize that it couldn't be seen from the street or by the neighbor's. i could barely make my fingers work to take off my shirt and jeans, it took forever for me to get the button undone on my jeans! Finally free from my clothes, i knocked on the door and got on my knees, fixing my eyes on a spot on the ground knowing i wasn't allowed to look up at Master until He said so.
"Hello kitten, I see you've made it safely, that's good."
"Yes, Master, the drive was uneventful."
"Get low."
Without speaking, i moved from my knees onto my belly on the ground, everything as low as i could get it.
"good girl, get your hands lower, good.Say your mantra."
"i am a slave, my Gerent has chosen me to serve Him. i need Him and am grateful that He trains me to be of value to Him. i will keep my walls down to preserve the work He has put into me. i will work my best at all times to serve Him, for it is how i can keep close. Only Master matters."
"Now, you know living here will be different, there are some new rules to follow. When you are in My home, you are to be naked, unless there are people here who aren't in the know. "
"Yes. Master"
"When you've been our of the house without Me, you are to drop everything upon entering the house, put your forehead to the tile and recite your mantra to be sure you are in the correct mindset inside My home. The only exception is when there are others with you, but that should be rare."
"Yes, Master."
"When I arrive home each day, you are to greet me, kneeling at the back door."
"Yes, Master."
"I'm glad you're here, welcome home kitten."
"Thank You Master, i am glad to be here."
"Let's go inside."
As i followed Master into His home, i was still nervous, i missed Him so much but this is a big change for Us. We have been apart for months but prior to that, We were only ever together for a week at most. Generally, We spent 2.25 days together each week, now We will live together, this will definitely be an adjustment for both of Us.
The first few weeks have been very good. We are working on finding daily routines, i make sure i lock the door after Master leaves each day and unlock it prior to His arrival home, i make sure i have dinner ready when He arrives home and that i am finished with my chores for the day so i can focus solely on serving Him.
i will be working soon but only part time so Our routines will change a little but not entirely.
i haven't been this happy.... ever. i love waking up to help Master get ready for His workday and then spending my day unpacking the house, organizing and preparing for His return home. Serving Him makes my life full and happy and i am so grateful that He allows me to live here and serve Him daily.
i am certainly adjusting to being naked all the time. i am not one who has always walked around naked after a shower or anything... i have no been comfortable in my own skin so this is a big adjustment for me.
Time to get back to my chores for the day :).
~His kitten
Thursday, July 14, 2016
learning about myself
Lately, as i've been working through repressed memories from sexual abuse as a child and Master is helping me deal with the gamut of emotions that goes through that, i end up having what We call "little days". Days that i want my stuffed giraffes (BB and Reid :) ) and to sit on Master's lap and be taken care of more than usual.
These days are becoming more and more consistent in my life. Every day isn't a "little day" but when i have too many non little days, when i have to be in charge and make all the decisions, i feel the weight of all of it and my desire to be taken care of, to cuddle my stuffed babies and just be little is more obvious.
This week has been FULL of days that i don't get to be little... Every single day is full of me Being completely in charge and not Being taken care of and i'm really feeling that this evening. Today is day 6 and i have 2-3 more days before things get back to "normal".
Normally i'm still in charge but i'm not the only one around to be in charge so it's not such a heavy weight on my shoulders.
Master is still very far away, states away, but my move date is getting much closer. This will all very much better when i'm able to be with Him everyday. He is so amazing, He goes everything He can while We are apart. He allows me to Skype and email and call to help but i'm trying not to add to His stress or take away time from His parents visit this week.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Do any of y'all have "little days"? What do you do to combat these feelings, if anything?
Thanks for letting me vent:).
~His kitten
These days are becoming more and more consistent in my life. Every day isn't a "little day" but when i have too many non little days, when i have to be in charge and make all the decisions, i feel the weight of all of it and my desire to be taken care of, to cuddle my stuffed babies and just be little is more obvious.
This week has been FULL of days that i don't get to be little... Every single day is full of me Being completely in charge and not Being taken care of and i'm really feeling that this evening. Today is day 6 and i have 2-3 more days before things get back to "normal".
Normally i'm still in charge but i'm not the only one around to be in charge so it's not such a heavy weight on my shoulders.
Master is still very far away, states away, but my move date is getting much closer. This will all very much better when i'm able to be with Him everyday. He is so amazing, He goes everything He can while We are apart. He allows me to Skype and email and call to help but i'm trying not to add to His stress or take away time from His parents visit this week.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Do any of y'all have "little days"? What do you do to combat these feelings, if anything?
Thanks for letting me vent:).
~His kitten
Monday, June 20, 2016
not ready for this... world
Today i'm feeling... not ready.... as my move to live with Master full time approaches and the reality hits me more and more,i wonder if i can do this.. if it's where i belong.
i realize how much i no longer feel like i fit in this world. i struggle with this because it's necessary to stay here, to be here, to live here in this world.
Not my world with Master but this world without Him.
i miss Him, i long to sit at His feet, to serve Him, to drink from Him.
This world without Him around, is hard for me. i feel lost in it. i feel so much more.... me... when i'm with Him, serving Him and the closer that gets, the harder it is to happily live here and now.
i know this world will always be here, that i'll always have to deal with it. But, when i could be in His world every weekend, it made the weekdays in this world much easier to deal with. i can only hope and assume that, when i live in His world, serving Him, that the hours spent outside it will be easier to deal with.
i know i am a slave, i am His slave, in my core and i have no desire to live outside of that feeling.
The world without Him is cruel, scary, cold... with Him it's like everything comes to life. He protects me, He handles the mean and cruel and helps me handle it too.
i love Him so, i adore Him more and i long to serve Him fully.
~His kitten
i realize how much i no longer feel like i fit in this world. i struggle with this because it's necessary to stay here, to be here, to live here in this world.
Not my world with Master but this world without Him.
i miss Him, i long to sit at His feet, to serve Him, to drink from Him.
This world without Him around, is hard for me. i feel lost in it. i feel so much more.... me... when i'm with Him, serving Him and the closer that gets, the harder it is to happily live here and now.
i know this world will always be here, that i'll always have to deal with it. But, when i could be in His world every weekend, it made the weekdays in this world much easier to deal with. i can only hope and assume that, when i live in His world, serving Him, that the hours spent outside it will be easier to deal with.
i know i am a slave, i am His slave, in my core and i have no desire to live outside of that feeling.
The world without Him is cruel, scary, cold... with Him it's like everything comes to life. He protects me, He handles the mean and cruel and helps me handle it too.
i love Him so, i adore Him more and i long to serve Him fully.
~His kitten
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
shocking revelation
Yesterday was the anniversary of the first day Master spoke to me online. We had a wonderful day that began with Master flogging and fucking my ass. i thought i could never have anal sex after previous experiences and Master has taken the time and patience necessary to help me work through it all. Now i not only can have anal sex, i can actually enjoy it and come from it.
Yesterday evening, Master was fingering me and it was wonderful! He was allowing me to come and they were amazing orgasms. i was wanting something different though, so after MANY orgasms, i got into my asking position and asked Master for something else. This was difficult for me to ask Him, to admit to myself and to Him that i actually wanted it. i asked Master to finger my ass and my clit for full body orgasms. Anal orgasms are completely different and delicious for me. They rock my entire body and i had been craving that since anal sex in the morning. Master was also surprised that i asked for it but pleased that i admitted i am an anal slut.
He gave me multiple anal orgasms and it was a delightful end to a wonderful anniversary day. :)
~His kitten
Yesterday evening, Master was fingering me and it was wonderful! He was allowing me to come and they were amazing orgasms. i was wanting something different though, so after MANY orgasms, i got into my asking position and asked Master for something else. This was difficult for me to ask Him, to admit to myself and to Him that i actually wanted it. i asked Master to finger my ass and my clit for full body orgasms. Anal orgasms are completely different and delicious for me. They rock my entire body and i had been craving that since anal sex in the morning. Master was also surprised that i asked for it but pleased that i admitted i am an anal slut.
He gave me multiple anal orgasms and it was a delightful end to a wonderful anniversary day. :)
~His kitten
Thursday, May 26, 2016
one year anniversary
This weekend marks Our one year
anniversary and last night We exchanged gifts and went out to a wonderful dinner. i had no idea what Master got me but when i opened it i absolutely love it!!! i have wanted to try a flogger for a while and this one is absolutely beautiful. It matches the cane Master has with blue and black on the handle. Master gave me a little intro. auth the flogger on my back, butt, thighs and breasts. It was amazing! i thought Our visit this week was going to be very vanilla because the toys haven't been moved here yet but this was a very welcome surprise to go with my amazing gift.
Our dinner was amazing too, at a great little place that i can't remember the name lol. i had lamb lollies for the first time ever and they were great.
i have Master a very vanilla gift, whiskey stones and a low ball glass that has Our names and anniversary date on it. He really likes it :).
~His kitten
Our dinner was amazing too, at a great little place that i can't remember the name lol. i had lamb lollies for the first time ever and they were great.
i have Master a very vanilla gift, whiskey stones and a low ball glass that has Our names and anniversary date on it. He really likes it :).
~His kitten
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Friday, May 13, 2016
emotions...
Master is house hunting in His new state and i am continuing to work on my weight lots and waiting to join Him.
This past week, Master sent me a picture of a poster for amateur night at a local strip club. This is something i know Master wants me to do at some future point when i've finished my weight loss journey so that didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was the conversation after and the emotions that popped up. i was sexually abused as a young child (5-7 yard old ) and sometimes things come up and are very emotional and i'm not expecting it.
Master showed me that picture and started telling me what to imagine that night being like, with Him there but not up front and all the men looking at me. That's when the emotions hit me. i didn't cry or anything but i certainly felt them, so i told Master. We talked and realized it came down to memories from my abuse as a child and Master told me i should cry or scream or whatever i felt like doing to feel those emotions. Unfortunately i didn't feel a way to let them out at that time. Master said We could work on it when i grey to visit Him soon.
Fast forward 4 days and Master and i are chatting online and looking at houses i've found that i think He may like. Master had me serve Him during this time by holding various poses while He looked over a houses pictures. One particular pose i knew would be hard but i got into it and was holding it to the best of my ability when i started to cry small, cute tears. We call those "His tears" because Master likes tears that are from serving Him. But suddenly the tears switched and were no longer small and cute.... they were HUGE, sobbing tears with all kinds of emotions from Our Sunday discussion. i held my position and sent Master a message to tell Him. He said i could move and i collapsed onto the floor and grabbed a blanket. i lay on my floor, completely covered by my blanket and sobbing for 15 minutes or so.
Afterward, Master did the best aftercare available to Us, He video called and i got to see His face and chat.
Do emotions like this ever hit anyone else like this?
Master said He needs to remember He can push me that hard over the phone, i don't like to be emotional but the thought of getting to serve Him a bit harder during this time is very appealing!!
i would love to hear from you amazing readers, please feel free to leave me a message!
Have a wonderful day:)
This past week, Master sent me a picture of a poster for amateur night at a local strip club. This is something i know Master wants me to do at some future point when i've finished my weight loss journey so that didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was the conversation after and the emotions that popped up. i was sexually abused as a young child (5-7 yard old ) and sometimes things come up and are very emotional and i'm not expecting it.
Master showed me that picture and started telling me what to imagine that night being like, with Him there but not up front and all the men looking at me. That's when the emotions hit me. i didn't cry or anything but i certainly felt them, so i told Master. We talked and realized it came down to memories from my abuse as a child and Master told me i should cry or scream or whatever i felt like doing to feel those emotions. Unfortunately i didn't feel a way to let them out at that time. Master said We could work on it when i grey to visit Him soon.
Fast forward 4 days and Master and i are chatting online and looking at houses i've found that i think He may like. Master had me serve Him during this time by holding various poses while He looked over a houses pictures. One particular pose i knew would be hard but i got into it and was holding it to the best of my ability when i started to cry small, cute tears. We call those "His tears" because Master likes tears that are from serving Him. But suddenly the tears switched and were no longer small and cute.... they were HUGE, sobbing tears with all kinds of emotions from Our Sunday discussion. i held my position and sent Master a message to tell Him. He said i could move and i collapsed onto the floor and grabbed a blanket. i lay on my floor, completely covered by my blanket and sobbing for 15 minutes or so.
Afterward, Master did the best aftercare available to Us, He video called and i got to see His face and chat.
Do emotions like this ever hit anyone else like this?
Master said He needs to remember He can push me that hard over the phone, i don't like to be emotional but the thought of getting to serve Him a bit harder during this time is very appealing!!
i would love to hear from you amazing readers, please feel free to leave me a message!
Have a wonderful day:)
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
missing Him
Last week was very hard for me, this adjustment to not seeing Master on the weekends was not going well. This week however, i feel like i'm more settled in the routine. Not that i'm not missing Him terribly because i am, but i'm learning to be content with emails and phone calls.
What i'm missing most is feeling like myself. i don't feel like me when i'm not with Master. i have to pretend to be someone i'm not, not submissive, not His slave, not into all of "this". The weekends were my time to be me and now that isn't happening regularly. Does anyone else feel this way or am i strange?
i miss sitting at His feet, i miss the hose and cane ( not the nipple clamps though lol), i miss making His lunches for the week and doing His laundry... i miss directly serving Him.
Thankfully, i do have ways to serve Him indirectly. Things that i know i do for Him, things that will benefit Him and that helps tremendously.
It also is hard because i can't orgasm without His permission... so i am a horny mess lol.
But, i get to see Him in a few weeks and that countdown is also helping.
Hope everyone is having a good week! Happy hump day:)
~His kitten
What i'm missing most is feeling like myself. i don't feel like me when i'm not with Master. i have to pretend to be someone i'm not, not submissive, not His slave, not into all of "this". The weekends were my time to be me and now that isn't happening regularly. Does anyone else feel this way or am i strange?
i miss sitting at His feet, i miss the hose and cane ( not the nipple clamps though lol), i miss making His lunches for the week and doing His laundry... i miss directly serving Him.
Thankfully, i do have ways to serve Him indirectly. Things that i know i do for Him, things that will benefit Him and that helps tremendously.
It also is hard because i can't orgasm without His permission... so i am a horny mess lol.
But, i get to see Him in a few weeks and that countdown is also helping.
Hope everyone is having a good week! Happy hump day:)
~His kitten
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
a new phase
Master and i have entered a new phase in Our relationship. He has always been a few hours away but close enough to see every weekend, i mean EVERY weekend for the past10 months... We may have missed 2 weekends.
Now, He is a 15 hour drive away from me. We are truly long distance now.
Last weekend was the first apart and it wasn't easy. i didn't hear from Him at all for a few days because of Him needing to get everything set up in His new place. i was worried He decided to just drop me and be done, that He moved and didn't want me anymore... i tend to do this "catastrophic thinking" and it frustrates me and Master. i try to avoid it and fight it off but so it wins sometimes. i can't do this every weekend!! i need to focus on serving Him to the best of my ability from afar until i can join Him in a few months.
my main ways to serve Him daily are to follow my eating plan (i just started a very strict one the week before He left) and to workout.i can't remember if i have out this on here but, i have lost almost 90 pounds in the Last 18 months, with almost 60 of that since i met Master. So, following my plan and working out is something i do to become my best for Him and it is a very tangible way for me to serve Him, which helps me a lot.
i also have my mantra to say daily and some daily reporting in to Him that i do regardless of whether i've heard from Him.
i have severe abandonment issues and so Master being so far away is triggering some of that and i'm going to have to learn to know that i am wanted by Him, special to Him, even when i'm not right there with Him.
This is only a phase in Our relationship and it'll be fine but it won't be fun or easy.
i don't know when i'll see Him again, He needs to get His new job going before We can make plans.
We have always head a journal that i write in and take to His house for Him to read if He chooses too. Now that journal is online and i like being able to write anytime i need to without people really knowing what i'm doing but now i don't know if He's reading it.... i like to know He's reading it. i guess it's a way i can see that He's interested in me and my thoughts and feelings. We don't generally discuss what i journal but it's a way for me to communicate even when i don't necessarily intend to.
So, that's Our new phase, me learning not to freak out and Master living in a new state, starting a new job.
Hope things are good with all of you!!
~His kitten
Now, He is a 15 hour drive away from me. We are truly long distance now.
Last weekend was the first apart and it wasn't easy. i didn't hear from Him at all for a few days because of Him needing to get everything set up in His new place. i was worried He decided to just drop me and be done, that He moved and didn't want me anymore... i tend to do this "catastrophic thinking" and it frustrates me and Master. i try to avoid it and fight it off but so it wins sometimes. i can't do this every weekend!! i need to focus on serving Him to the best of my ability from afar until i can join Him in a few months.
my main ways to serve Him daily are to follow my eating plan (i just started a very strict one the week before He left) and to workout.i can't remember if i have out this on here but, i have lost almost 90 pounds in the Last 18 months, with almost 60 of that since i met Master. So, following my plan and working out is something i do to become my best for Him and it is a very tangible way for me to serve Him, which helps me a lot.
i also have my mantra to say daily and some daily reporting in to Him that i do regardless of whether i've heard from Him.
i have severe abandonment issues and so Master being so far away is triggering some of that and i'm going to have to learn to know that i am wanted by Him, special to Him, even when i'm not right there with Him.
This is only a phase in Our relationship and it'll be fine but it won't be fun or easy.
i don't know when i'll see Him again, He needs to get His new job going before We can make plans.
We have always head a journal that i write in and take to His house for Him to read if He chooses too. Now that journal is online and i like being able to write anytime i need to without people really knowing what i'm doing but now i don't know if He's reading it.... i like to know He's reading it. i guess it's a way i can see that He's interested in me and my thoughts and feelings. We don't generally discuss what i journal but it's a way for me to communicate even when i don't necessarily intend to.
So, that's Our new phase, me learning not to freak out and Master living in a new state, starting a new job.
Hope things are good with all of you!!
~His kitten
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Saturday play/training
We had the most amazing training/playtime yesterday! i am still new to slave life and to playtime so many times it doubles as training for me to work on something new with Master.
Last night Master put a box of toys together and called it a "care package". He had me add my training collar, the "red beacon" (that's what i call the butt plug) and my ball gag and told me to get completely undressed. Master put on my training collar and told me to get my care package and follow Him.
i was terrified! i thought We were going outside, into the world, with me completely naked and a box of toys that most people wouldn't understand.... not to mention that the butt plug can evoke quite an emotional response in me and this was only the 3rd time or so that We have used it and only the 2nd time that it would be in for any amount of time. i was very concerned but i know Master doesn't want to flaunt this lifestyle in His neighborhood, He works with lots of His neighbors and so the odds of Him taking me out where We could be seen were not super high. However, in July, for my first training weekend, He had me naked in His backyard for a while. At least now i am 40 pounds lighter than i was in July and so i would be a little more comfortable with my body.
So, Master opens the door into His garage and tells me to get the care package and follow Him. "Master, i don't think i can move yet." He laughed and replied "Obey me kitten." Which, i did.
We went into the garage and then Master opened the attic steps and, on hesitant but obedient feet, i followed Him up the steps.
Master showed me where i would be standing for Our time in the attic and then instructed me to put the butt plug in.
As i said, the butt plug evokes a very emotional response in me because of my past. Also, last weekend was the first weekend i put it in myself and it was a difficult process, inside the house, laying down, with a blanket and Master right beside me to help me not freak out. This time, i am naked, in a cold attic, no blankets, and having to squat to insert it. i knew this was coming, i knew that i would start to freak out in my head, and so i was ready. i kept mentally saying "i am a slave" in my head and working on thinking about using it to serve my Master. i desperately don't like to fail Him, i want to please Him SO BADLY that i was able to insert the plug and get into my spot to stand.
Master began tying me up, He starts with my hands that ended up tied together and then tied above my head to the rafter in the attic.
my ankles were tied with my legs spread and each tied to a different support beam in the attic.
While Master was tying me up i said "I'm losing it Master!" and He knew, without any further words, that i meant i was losing the plug and He reached up and stuck it back in before it came completely out. "I have something planned to fix that in a minute." And fix it He did! Master tied a rope around my waist and then He put it between my legs from front to back so it was touching my vagina and holding in the plug.
The entire time He was tying me up, He had this great grin on His face. He doesn't talk a lot when He is preparing me for a scene, but i can tell He had been thinking this through all week and had a plan and was VERY excited to finally be fulfilling His thought process.
i was already in a nice sub headspace when Master began. He talked to me through a lot of the scene, talking about being a slave and what it truly means. He talked about being proud of my service and of being a slave. He talked about proper pride and not false pride.
The entire time He was talking to me, Master had the crop and was hitting my butt, my back, my sides and my breasts. i was having to watch how loud i was because there are open vents in the attic and so i was really enjoying the challenge of not screaming loudly but channeling my pain into my breathing and some nice, sexy noises. i have been feeling the pain more since losing 40 more pounds ( a total of 80 lost so far) and i tend to just make noise to deal with some of the pain and those noises aren't generally sexy, so i was working on making the noises not too loud and sexy. Master said that i did well with that afterward.
Once Master was finished with talking to me, then He got out the nipple clamps. i began crying immediately. This is one pain that i really struggle to turn into a pleasure. i was crying and thinking i can't do this, i can't handle being tied up (which i love by the way!), the butt plug, being hit with the crop (or something else that Master brought up that i hadn't seen yet) and the nipple clamps. i was crying and saying "No, please Master, no thank You, please don't". Master is very patient and He talked me through it. He explained that He knows they aren't fun but that they are something He enjoys using on me.
"kitten, they can come off if it is too much, and they will come off when We are done. " "i know Master! That is what i am scared of! The taking off, they hurt more coming off than when they are on!"
"I know kitten but I want to use them on You."
i want to please Him and i wanted to try for sure but i was so scared of failing, of not being able to handle it, but Master told me to take a deep breath in and then He put the clamps on.
" i am a slave, i am a slave, i am a slave." i repeated this over and over, out loud and in my head, to help me keep my focus on serving Master through this pain. i focused on breathing and focused on Him and was making it through okay, not doing great but doing okay.
Then, Master got out the Magic Wand. He used it on me while He also used the crop. SO MUCH GOING ON!!
This was the most intense and longest scene We have done so far. The magic wand was amazing! It took my nipple pain to pleasure almost immediately.
"I want orgasms so bring them on." His voice is so deep and so sexy, especially when He's telling me what to do in scene.
"Yes, Master," and then i came so hard for so long, it was amazing!!
Master put away the magic wand and said " Give me a number between 1-15".
"Eight."
"Okay, do You want Your gag?"
"May i please try without it and use it if needed?"
"Yes, kitten that will work."
And then i saw that Master had the rubber hose in His hand.
He gave me 8 hits with it and as each hit, i was almost completely breathless but they feel so good. The thud, the sting, the breathlessness... ohhh it is probably my favorite toy He currently uses.
i made it though all eight, keeping count and not being too loud.
When Master was finished with that, He untied me and told me to get into "low position". i got into position, as low on the attic floor as i can get myself.
"Are you as low as you can get?"
"Yes, Master."
"I don't think so, you're still in the attic. Get down and get low."
So i got down, into the garage and got low.
Master did a recap of what He talked about and how some other things about not having false pride.
Then i was able to cuddle on His leg, after thanking Him and kissing His shoe.
After a few minutes, We went inside and Master wrapped me in a blanket and held me for a while, while i recovered.
Then, it was time for a quick shower and bed with more cuddling as We fell asleep.
What an amazing time. I'm still in such an amazing headspace today. Master was proud of me for making it through, even when i thought i couldn't.
i really liked what He talked about and how i can see my place as a slave as something to be proud of.
i hope ya'll have had fun this weekend!
~His kitten
Last night Master put a box of toys together and called it a "care package". He had me add my training collar, the "red beacon" (that's what i call the butt plug) and my ball gag and told me to get completely undressed. Master put on my training collar and told me to get my care package and follow Him.
i was terrified! i thought We were going outside, into the world, with me completely naked and a box of toys that most people wouldn't understand.... not to mention that the butt plug can evoke quite an emotional response in me and this was only the 3rd time or so that We have used it and only the 2nd time that it would be in for any amount of time. i was very concerned but i know Master doesn't want to flaunt this lifestyle in His neighborhood, He works with lots of His neighbors and so the odds of Him taking me out where We could be seen were not super high. However, in July, for my first training weekend, He had me naked in His backyard for a while. At least now i am 40 pounds lighter than i was in July and so i would be a little more comfortable with my body.
So, Master opens the door into His garage and tells me to get the care package and follow Him. "Master, i don't think i can move yet." He laughed and replied "Obey me kitten." Which, i did.
We went into the garage and then Master opened the attic steps and, on hesitant but obedient feet, i followed Him up the steps.
Master showed me where i would be standing for Our time in the attic and then instructed me to put the butt plug in.
As i said, the butt plug evokes a very emotional response in me because of my past. Also, last weekend was the first weekend i put it in myself and it was a difficult process, inside the house, laying down, with a blanket and Master right beside me to help me not freak out. This time, i am naked, in a cold attic, no blankets, and having to squat to insert it. i knew this was coming, i knew that i would start to freak out in my head, and so i was ready. i kept mentally saying "i am a slave" in my head and working on thinking about using it to serve my Master. i desperately don't like to fail Him, i want to please Him SO BADLY that i was able to insert the plug and get into my spot to stand.
Master began tying me up, He starts with my hands that ended up tied together and then tied above my head to the rafter in the attic.
my ankles were tied with my legs spread and each tied to a different support beam in the attic.
While Master was tying me up i said "I'm losing it Master!" and He knew, without any further words, that i meant i was losing the plug and He reached up and stuck it back in before it came completely out. "I have something planned to fix that in a minute." And fix it He did! Master tied a rope around my waist and then He put it between my legs from front to back so it was touching my vagina and holding in the plug.
The entire time He was tying me up, He had this great grin on His face. He doesn't talk a lot when He is preparing me for a scene, but i can tell He had been thinking this through all week and had a plan and was VERY excited to finally be fulfilling His thought process.
i was already in a nice sub headspace when Master began. He talked to me through a lot of the scene, talking about being a slave and what it truly means. He talked about being proud of my service and of being a slave. He talked about proper pride and not false pride.
The entire time He was talking to me, Master had the crop and was hitting my butt, my back, my sides and my breasts. i was having to watch how loud i was because there are open vents in the attic and so i was really enjoying the challenge of not screaming loudly but channeling my pain into my breathing and some nice, sexy noises. i have been feeling the pain more since losing 40 more pounds ( a total of 80 lost so far) and i tend to just make noise to deal with some of the pain and those noises aren't generally sexy, so i was working on making the noises not too loud and sexy. Master said that i did well with that afterward.
Once Master was finished with talking to me, then He got out the nipple clamps. i began crying immediately. This is one pain that i really struggle to turn into a pleasure. i was crying and thinking i can't do this, i can't handle being tied up (which i love by the way!), the butt plug, being hit with the crop (or something else that Master brought up that i hadn't seen yet) and the nipple clamps. i was crying and saying "No, please Master, no thank You, please don't". Master is very patient and He talked me through it. He explained that He knows they aren't fun but that they are something He enjoys using on me.
"kitten, they can come off if it is too much, and they will come off when We are done. " "i know Master! That is what i am scared of! The taking off, they hurt more coming off than when they are on!"
"I know kitten but I want to use them on You."
i want to please Him and i wanted to try for sure but i was so scared of failing, of not being able to handle it, but Master told me to take a deep breath in and then He put the clamps on.
" i am a slave, i am a slave, i am a slave." i repeated this over and over, out loud and in my head, to help me keep my focus on serving Master through this pain. i focused on breathing and focused on Him and was making it through okay, not doing great but doing okay.
Then, Master got out the Magic Wand. He used it on me while He also used the crop. SO MUCH GOING ON!!
This was the most intense and longest scene We have done so far. The magic wand was amazing! It took my nipple pain to pleasure almost immediately.
"I want orgasms so bring them on." His voice is so deep and so sexy, especially when He's telling me what to do in scene.
"Yes, Master," and then i came so hard for so long, it was amazing!!
Master put away the magic wand and said " Give me a number between 1-15".
"Eight."
"Okay, do You want Your gag?"
"May i please try without it and use it if needed?"
"Yes, kitten that will work."
And then i saw that Master had the rubber hose in His hand.
He gave me 8 hits with it and as each hit, i was almost completely breathless but they feel so good. The thud, the sting, the breathlessness... ohhh it is probably my favorite toy He currently uses.
i made it though all eight, keeping count and not being too loud.
When Master was finished with that, He untied me and told me to get into "low position". i got into position, as low on the attic floor as i can get myself.
"Are you as low as you can get?"
"Yes, Master."
"I don't think so, you're still in the attic. Get down and get low."
So i got down, into the garage and got low.
Master did a recap of what He talked about and how some other things about not having false pride.
Then i was able to cuddle on His leg, after thanking Him and kissing His shoe.
After a few minutes, We went inside and Master wrapped me in a blanket and held me for a while, while i recovered.
Then, it was time for a quick shower and bed with more cuddling as We fell asleep.
What an amazing time. I'm still in such an amazing headspace today. Master was proud of me for making it through, even when i thought i couldn't.
i really liked what He talked about and how i can see my place as a slave as something to be proud of.
i hope ya'll have had fun this weekend!
~His kitten
Friday, March 4, 2016
Q&A - give me your best!!
Apparently this month is Q & A month in blog land.
I would love for y'all to leave your questions for me in the comments and I'll answer those that Master approves. Let me know if you want to be identified when I answer your question or if you want to be anonymous.
Thanks!!
~His kitten
I would love for y'all to leave your questions for me in the comments and I'll answer those that Master approves. Let me know if you want to be identified when I answer your question or if you want to be anonymous.
Thanks!!
~His kitten
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Full service
We had a wonderful weekend!! Master loves blow jobs and i love giving them... or trying to...i'm good at the teasing/build up but actually getting Him to completion... not great, We usually end up having sex because i can't get Him over the edge.
There were 4 times i fully succeeded since last June.. only 4... and they were in the first 3months of dating. This past weekend, i made it to 5!!! It was amazing:). Lol... i hope for Master too ;). He said i did a good job. i'm just so happy i pleased Him!!!
Also this weekend, i was able to drink from Master again, for the first time since December. i have been on a VERY strict diet and We didn't want to put my health at risk.
i was such a happy little slave, having fully serviced Master's cock this weekend. It still puts a goofy grin on my face as i type this.
i hope You all are doing well:).
Happy Wednesday!!
~His kitten
There were 4 times i fully succeeded since last June.. only 4... and they were in the first 3months of dating. This past weekend, i made it to 5!!! It was amazing:). Lol... i hope for Master too ;). He said i did a good job. i'm just so happy i pleased Him!!!
Also this weekend, i was able to drink from Master again, for the first time since December. i have been on a VERY strict diet and We didn't want to put my health at risk.
i was such a happy little slave, having fully serviced Master's cock this weekend. It still puts a goofy grin on my face as i type this.
i hope You all are doing well:).
Happy Wednesday!!
~His kitten
Thursday, February 11, 2016
missing it...
Master and i had a very productive weekend last weekend but it was very not bruise inducing.... this week had been hard emotionally with certain circumstances in my life and i'm really missing the reminder of my bruises. They help me remember my place, where i feel the most alive, the most "me". i was able to call Master last night and immediately i'm in a different headspace. He just puts me there by saying "Hello", it seems kind of crazy to me sometimes but that's how i work.
i am still mentally working on admitting that i am an anal slut... that i enjoy anal... but i can tell you all that i realized on my way home last weekend, i had been hoping Master would want to work on it again and He didn't because We were so busy i think. Finding myself disappointed by that was surprising to say the least.
So much about myself that i'm learning every day with Master.
i hope everyone is having a good week!
Happy Valentine's weekend :).
~His kitten
i am still mentally working on admitting that i am an anal slut... that i enjoy anal... but i can tell you all that i realized on my way home last weekend, i had been hoping Master would want to work on it again and He didn't because We were so busy i think. Finding myself disappointed by that was surprising to say the least.
So much about myself that i'm learning every day with Master.
i hope everyone is having a good week!
Happy Valentine's weekend :).
~His kitten
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
This is hard to admit...
i'm just going to put it out there to start with, then i'll explain.
This past weekend, i experienced 6 anal orgasms. 3 with Master's fingers and 3 with Master's cock.
So... i'm writing about this because Master thinks it would be a good outlet for me to think it through.
This is very hard for me to write about, think about, admit to you all or even to Master. Just saying i had 6 anal orgasms was very difficult to type.
There are many reasons this is difficult. The least is that society doesn't generally think anal play is acceptable. That really doesn't factor in the difficulty too much for me.
This is difficult because if my previous marriage. my ex husband anally raped me repeatedly over many years of our marriage. i was forced down on my bed or a chair in the living room and then, sometimes with actual lube ( but not anal lube) and sometimes just with a touch of spit, he would have his pleasure. He would tell me not to make noise or he'd go longer so i kept my screams inside, he would leave me crying and bleeding considerably to go play on his computer. This happened more times than i can count.
So, anal is a VERY touchy subject for me. i understand why Master wants it, and this weekend, i learned it can feel pretty good, but i have very high walls built around that subject in my mind.
i need to admit that the anal orgasms this weekend were full body, leg shaking, better than vaginal, orgasms. But, for some reason, that isn't enough for me to about i enjoyed it. i still can't say i did... it just stops in my head. i can't admit that.
i'm afraid that Master won't be as gentle, as in tune to me during anal anymore if i admit it. i'm afraid anal is all He'll ever want if i admit it...i'm afraid of what admitting it means for Our future exploration...
Does anymore else struggle so much with anal?
~His kitten
This past weekend, i experienced 6 anal orgasms. 3 with Master's fingers and 3 with Master's cock.
So... i'm writing about this because Master thinks it would be a good outlet for me to think it through.
This is very hard for me to write about, think about, admit to you all or even to Master. Just saying i had 6 anal orgasms was very difficult to type.
There are many reasons this is difficult. The least is that society doesn't generally think anal play is acceptable. That really doesn't factor in the difficulty too much for me.
This is difficult because if my previous marriage. my ex husband anally raped me repeatedly over many years of our marriage. i was forced down on my bed or a chair in the living room and then, sometimes with actual lube ( but not anal lube) and sometimes just with a touch of spit, he would have his pleasure. He would tell me not to make noise or he'd go longer so i kept my screams inside, he would leave me crying and bleeding considerably to go play on his computer. This happened more times than i can count.
So, anal is a VERY touchy subject for me. i understand why Master wants it, and this weekend, i learned it can feel pretty good, but i have very high walls built around that subject in my mind.
i need to admit that the anal orgasms this weekend were full body, leg shaking, better than vaginal, orgasms. But, for some reason, that isn't enough for me to about i enjoyed it. i still can't say i did... it just stops in my head. i can't admit that.
i'm afraid that Master won't be as gentle, as in tune to me during anal anymore if i admit it. i'm afraid anal is all He'll ever want if i admit it...i'm afraid of what admitting it means for Our future exploration...
Does anymore else struggle so much with anal?
~His kitten
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Hello again
Wow, it's been quite a while since i wrote here. Things have been busy with the holidays and just enjoying time with Master.
We were able to spend a little more than 2 weeks together over Christmas and New years and it was glorious!!
Master had been going easy on me physically for a couple months, since October i think, because i was dealing with a lot of emotional stuff. Now that's been worked through and i think We are both looking forward to getting back into heavier things.
i am out of practice at talking the cane and hose. i love the feeling of serving Him auth those things so i want to find opportunities to ask Him to use them and get into better condition with them again.
i hope everyone is doing well and i'll definitely be around here more more that crazy season is over:).
~His kitten
We were able to spend a little more than 2 weeks together over Christmas and New years and it was glorious!!
Master had been going easy on me physically for a couple months, since October i think, because i was dealing with a lot of emotional stuff. Now that's been worked through and i think We are both looking forward to getting back into heavier things.
i am out of practice at talking the cane and hose. i love the feeling of serving Him auth those things so i want to find opportunities to ask Him to use them and get into better condition with them again.
i hope everyone is doing well and i'll definitely be around here more more that crazy season is over:).
~His kitten
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