Last week was very hard for me, this adjustment to not seeing Master on the weekends was not going well. This week however, i feel like i'm more settled in the routine. Not that i'm not missing Him terribly because i am, but i'm learning to be content with emails and phone calls.
What i'm missing most is feeling like myself. i don't feel like me when i'm not with Master. i have to pretend to be someone i'm not, not submissive, not His slave, not into all of "this". The weekends were my time to be me and now that isn't happening regularly. Does anyone else feel this way or am i strange?
i miss sitting at His feet, i miss the hose and cane ( not the nipple clamps though lol), i miss making His lunches for the week and doing His laundry... i miss directly serving Him.
Thankfully, i do have ways to serve Him indirectly. Things that i know i do for Him, things that will benefit Him and that helps tremendously.
It also is hard because i can't orgasm without His permission... so i am a horny mess lol.
But, i get to see Him in a few weeks and that countdown is also helping.
Hope everyone is having a good week! Happy hump day:)
~His kitten
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