Master and i had a very productive weekend last weekend but it was very not bruise inducing.... this week had been hard emotionally with certain circumstances in my life and i'm really missing the reminder of my bruises. They help me remember my place, where i feel the most alive, the most "me". i was able to call Master last night and immediately i'm in a different headspace. He just puts me there by saying "Hello", it seems kind of crazy to me sometimes but that's how i work.
i am still mentally working on admitting that i am an anal slut... that i enjoy anal... but i can tell you all that i realized on my way home last weekend, i had been hoping Master would want to work on it again and He didn't because We were so busy i think. Finding myself disappointed by that was surprising to say the least.
So much about myself that i'm learning every day with Master.
i hope everyone is having a good week!
Happy Valentine's weekend :).
~His kitten
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
This is hard to admit...
i'm just going to put it out there to start with, then i'll explain.
This past weekend, i experienced 6 anal orgasms. 3 with Master's fingers and 3 with Master's cock.
So... i'm writing about this because Master thinks it would be a good outlet for me to think it through.
This is very hard for me to write about, think about, admit to you all or even to Master. Just saying i had 6 anal orgasms was very difficult to type.
There are many reasons this is difficult. The least is that society doesn't generally think anal play is acceptable. That really doesn't factor in the difficulty too much for me.
This is difficult because if my previous marriage. my ex husband anally raped me repeatedly over many years of our marriage. i was forced down on my bed or a chair in the living room and then, sometimes with actual lube ( but not anal lube) and sometimes just with a touch of spit, he would have his pleasure. He would tell me not to make noise or he'd go longer so i kept my screams inside, he would leave me crying and bleeding considerably to go play on his computer. This happened more times than i can count.
So, anal is a VERY touchy subject for me. i understand why Master wants it, and this weekend, i learned it can feel pretty good, but i have very high walls built around that subject in my mind.
i need to admit that the anal orgasms this weekend were full body, leg shaking, better than vaginal, orgasms. But, for some reason, that isn't enough for me to about i enjoyed it. i still can't say i did... it just stops in my head. i can't admit that.
i'm afraid that Master won't be as gentle, as in tune to me during anal anymore if i admit it. i'm afraid anal is all He'll ever want if i admit it...i'm afraid of what admitting it means for Our future exploration...
Does anymore else struggle so much with anal?
~His kitten
This past weekend, i experienced 6 anal orgasms. 3 with Master's fingers and 3 with Master's cock.
So... i'm writing about this because Master thinks it would be a good outlet for me to think it through.
This is very hard for me to write about, think about, admit to you all or even to Master. Just saying i had 6 anal orgasms was very difficult to type.
There are many reasons this is difficult. The least is that society doesn't generally think anal play is acceptable. That really doesn't factor in the difficulty too much for me.
This is difficult because if my previous marriage. my ex husband anally raped me repeatedly over many years of our marriage. i was forced down on my bed or a chair in the living room and then, sometimes with actual lube ( but not anal lube) and sometimes just with a touch of spit, he would have his pleasure. He would tell me not to make noise or he'd go longer so i kept my screams inside, he would leave me crying and bleeding considerably to go play on his computer. This happened more times than i can count.
So, anal is a VERY touchy subject for me. i understand why Master wants it, and this weekend, i learned it can feel pretty good, but i have very high walls built around that subject in my mind.
i need to admit that the anal orgasms this weekend were full body, leg shaking, better than vaginal, orgasms. But, for some reason, that isn't enough for me to about i enjoyed it. i still can't say i did... it just stops in my head. i can't admit that.
i'm afraid that Master won't be as gentle, as in tune to me during anal anymore if i admit it. i'm afraid anal is all He'll ever want if i admit it...i'm afraid of what admitting it means for Our future exploration...
Does anymore else struggle so much with anal?
~His kitten
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Hello again
Wow, it's been quite a while since i wrote here. Things have been busy with the holidays and just enjoying time with Master.
We were able to spend a little more than 2 weeks together over Christmas and New years and it was glorious!!
Master had been going easy on me physically for a couple months, since October i think, because i was dealing with a lot of emotional stuff. Now that's been worked through and i think We are both looking forward to getting back into heavier things.
i am out of practice at talking the cane and hose. i love the feeling of serving Him auth those things so i want to find opportunities to ask Him to use them and get into better condition with them again.
i hope everyone is doing well and i'll definitely be around here more more that crazy season is over:).
~His kitten
We were able to spend a little more than 2 weeks together over Christmas and New years and it was glorious!!
Master had been going easy on me physically for a couple months, since October i think, because i was dealing with a lot of emotional stuff. Now that's been worked through and i think We are both looking forward to getting back into heavier things.
i am out of practice at talking the cane and hose. i love the feeling of serving Him auth those things so i want to find opportunities to ask Him to use them and get into better condition with them again.
i hope everyone is doing well and i'll definitely be around here more more that crazy season is over:).
~His kitten
Friday, November 27, 2015
Happy thanksgiving
me- i'm following You trying to say goodnight.
Master- I'm not kissing you, remember the garage?
me- Oh yes, i used mouth wash already, i'm clean.
Master- *gives goodnight kiss*
Happy thanksgiving little slave. Master managed to sneak in a wonderful moment when We went in the garage alone, He allowed me to drink from Him. A wonderful moment in the midst of family time.
i hope everyone had a wonderful day yesterday!
i have so much to be thankful for and my amazing Master is at the very top of my list:).
~ His kitten
Master- I'm not kissing you, remember the garage?
me- Oh yes, i used mouth wash already, i'm clean.
Master- *gives goodnight kiss*
Happy thanksgiving little slave. Master managed to sneak in a wonderful moment when We went in the garage alone, He allowed me to drink from Him. A wonderful moment in the midst of family time.
i hope everyone had a wonderful day yesterday!
i have so much to be thankful for and my amazing Master is at the very top of my list:).
~ His kitten
Monday, November 23, 2015
feeling like a slave
Master and i had a wonderful weekend. i have lots of bite marks and some bruising from the hose to remind me if Our weekend. It felt so good to be used like this again. Life has been very stressful for Master especially lately and things were feeling a bit off but they are all set taught again. At least in this slave's opinion.
i also had the privilege of drinking from Master twice in one day and that was amazing. After the second time, Master told me i couldn't rinse my mouth for the entire movie We were watching. Sitting with His taste in my mouth is nice, it reminds me of my place and my service for Him. The sad part this time was that not rinsing my mouth meant no kissing during the movie. It ended up being better than i thought and having His taste made the movie more enjoyable.
Master also worked on fixing a few things around His house and He let me help. This is huge to me and i loved helping:).
Hope you all had enjoyable weekends!
Happy thanksgiving!
~ His kitten
i also had the privilege of drinking from Master twice in one day and that was amazing. After the second time, Master told me i couldn't rinse my mouth for the entire movie We were watching. Sitting with His taste in my mouth is nice, it reminds me of my place and my service for Him. The sad part this time was that not rinsing my mouth meant no kissing during the movie. It ended up being better than i thought and having His taste made the movie more enjoyable.
Master also worked on fixing a few things around His house and He let me help. This is huge to me and i loved helping:).
Hope you all had enjoyable weekends!
Happy thanksgiving!
~ His kitten
Friday, November 6, 2015
Almost time
i just have to make it through work today and then i'll be on my way to see my Master.
i am ready to serve Him for this no mercy weekend. i know i'll be pushed to new limits and that is exciting but also a little scary. i worry that i won't be able to handle it, that i won't reach a New level and Master will be disappointed in me.
i want to serve Him better than i think i can, to help relieve stress for Him.
Ready for this weekend to start! :)
- His kitten
i am ready to serve Him for this no mercy weekend. i know i'll be pushed to new limits and that is exciting but also a little scary. i worry that i won't be able to handle it, that i won't reach a New level and Master will be disappointed in me.
i want to serve Him better than i think i can, to help relieve stress for Him.
Ready for this weekend to start! :)
- His kitten
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
I've got you, kitten
Master and i had an AMAZING weekend:). On Saturday, We were up close to tigers! So awesome:).
i had a rather emotionally difficult time Saturday evening dealing with some things from my past and Master asked if i needed a beating. i had just been thinking of asking for Him to, He knows my slave heart so well:).
i couldn't take much at all before i was a bawling mess in Master's lap. It was all emotional and needed to be felt and let out. Thankfully, Master was willing to help me get it out. i was so thankful He sat with me and held me while i cried. While He was beating me with the cane, Master stopped to switch to the crop and He paused and took a drink of His tea. This was so significant to me, just a show of how completely in control He was ( and is) while i was a messy puddle of emotions, He was very calm and I control. i'm so so thankful for that fact!!
Then, Sunday, i was still feeling emotional and Master slapped my girly bits.. this was new and it hit in those emotional things from my past and i began to cry again. It wasn't terrible but some. Later, i was still feeling emotional and some more things had come up through the day and so Master allowed me to lay with Him on the couch and cry and cuddle. It was so amazing to be so close to Him and for Him to tell me it is okay for me to cry, that i need to feel. He is so amazing.
When it was about time for me to leave, Master held my throat and bit the back of my neck, so i could just rub it this week and think of Him. Then, He got the hose out and gave me a quick beating to feel while i drove home.
Master also allowed me to drink from Him just before getting into the car.
i am so amazed by this Man... He is wonderful.
Master kept telling me this weekend that He's "got me" and i firmly believe He does:).
~His kitten
i had a rather emotionally difficult time Saturday evening dealing with some things from my past and Master asked if i needed a beating. i had just been thinking of asking for Him to, He knows my slave heart so well:).
i couldn't take much at all before i was a bawling mess in Master's lap. It was all emotional and needed to be felt and let out. Thankfully, Master was willing to help me get it out. i was so thankful He sat with me and held me while i cried. While He was beating me with the cane, Master stopped to switch to the crop and He paused and took a drink of His tea. This was so significant to me, just a show of how completely in control He was ( and is) while i was a messy puddle of emotions, He was very calm and I control. i'm so so thankful for that fact!!
Then, Sunday, i was still feeling emotional and Master slapped my girly bits.. this was new and it hit in those emotional things from my past and i began to cry again. It wasn't terrible but some. Later, i was still feeling emotional and some more things had come up through the day and so Master allowed me to lay with Him on the couch and cry and cuddle. It was so amazing to be so close to Him and for Him to tell me it is okay for me to cry, that i need to feel. He is so amazing.
When it was about time for me to leave, Master held my throat and bit the back of my neck, so i could just rub it this week and think of Him. Then, He got the hose out and gave me a quick beating to feel while i drove home.
Master also allowed me to drink from Him just before getting into the car.
i am so amazed by this Man... He is wonderful.
Master kept telling me this weekend that He's "got me" and i firmly believe He does:).
~His kitten
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